Update Sept 2, 2009



Hi all,



It's Deb writing this one.



First of ALL, I want to thank my husband Larry for his last update on here. He is my angel. He has been by my side throughout this ordeal, and I don't know what I would ever do without him. I am sure testing the "in sickness and in health" vow. I will love him forever for holding my hand this whole way. He's in this for the long haul, and I will never stop thanking God for him! I wanted to say this publicly to let everyone know what a wonderful husband I have been blessed with. I love you so much, Larry, and in a whole new way.



Now to the update. I am still in the hospital for the blood clot in my lung. They are currently trying to get my Coumadin levels to a therapeutic level so I can finally go home, but as of now, it looks like I'll be here a few more days. I hate this and want to go home! But when I get the blues, I have to remember that these are the folks who literally saved my life when I came here to Emergency last Friday. I didn't know I was as critical as I was; if I HAD known, I'd probably have been in a MORE critical condition.



They believe the clot is now under control. I do know I feel a lot better in that area of my back than I did, I can breathe better, and they tell me I am now out of danger. I will however, have to be on blood thinners for the next 6 months, just to make sure no more clots form.



How did the clot get there? Two theories. One is that after the mastectomy, I was pretty sedentary. The breast surgeon was telling me to get up and move around, but the plastic surgeon told me the fastest way to get the drains out was to keep my activity and movement to a minimum. Well, I wanted those drains out! So I tried to stay still. Second theory, and this is the more likely of the two, is that malignancies thicken the blood. Although the malignancy is now gone, (praise the Lord!), my blood remained thick, causing the clot. My symptoms were that my back hurt, I had a hard time exhaling, and thought I'd slept wrong. The pulmonary specialist told me that 20,000 (yes, TWENTY THOUSAND) people each year DIE because of clots in the lung, and that like me, they just thought they'd slept wrong. ANOTHER LESSON LEARNED. Always pay attention to your body!



Back to the drains. Having had them connected to me for over 3 weeks post surgery, I couldn't WAIT to get them out. They were horrible. We did so, right after having had a CAT scan here at Beaumont, and I was so eager to get home and see what it felt like to be without those darn drains, even though I didn't feel well. As Larry mentioned, we got half way home, and both our cell phones started ringing. Larry's was my oncologist telling us that the CAT scan I'd had that morning showed the lung clot, and to get back to Beaumont ER immediately. The other call was from my family doctor (who's really not even in this loop, but since he's my primary-care doc, he had also gotten the CAT report -- I am IMPRESSED that he read it so fast and got right on it, especially for someone not even in the loop on this deal). He too was telling us to get back to Beaumont ER and "not hit any bumps on the way."



All I can say is, THANK YOU LORD. This is the second time You've saved my life in just a few short weeks.



The Breast Cancer. I am still VERY sore and weak from the surgery, feel very disfigured and butchered. It's very hard to look in the mirror. (Larry, bless his heart, tells me I am still beautiful to him.) Once I get this lung thing straightened out, I will be able to start chemotherapy and radiation, as the added insurance that the cancer beast won't return. It is still very difficult for me to type, or to use my right side at all. And now that my left hand has an IV in it, that's not of much use, either.



I have had many requests for people to come for a visit. I am so grateful for that. I count my blessings every day for the most loving family ever, and for friends who love and care. But I do have to be honest: for right now, I am just not up to visitors, either at the hospital nor at home. I no longer wear makeup or have my nails done. I am way overdue for a haircut, but with all that's been going on, I haven't had a chance to get to Great Clips. Besides, in a month, my hair will all be gone anyway. And while I know these things don't matter to you because you care so much, it is something that is hard for ME to feel comfortable with. It is still so hard for me to process all that's happened so far, and this latest lung-clot development has made it even harder. I haven't even had a chance to be out of the hospital long enough to really process ANY of these recent events. Since my mastectomy 4 weeks ago, I have had something connected to me at all times, whether it be drains or IVs. So as much as I love and appreciate all of you and your care and concern, I just feel like I would like to (someday!) get home to my own surroundings, collect myself a bit, gather my thoughts, settle in, and process this whole mess. My prayer is that I don't lose friends in requesting my alone time, and I sure hope no one takes my request for privacy personally. I know the day will come when the situation I'm in will get me down, and that my fear or lonliness will cause me to reach out to my friends and family. My prayer is that, when that finally happens, you'll still be there for me. Thank you.

One thing I will never say during this ordeal is "Why Me?" If I were to say that, it would imply that I'd rather it be someone else. And I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I'll say I hate this, that I wish it weren't happening, that I'd never gotten this. But never EVER "Why Me."

Getting tired now. It took a long time for me to peck this out with two fingers. Larry has gone home to mow, my elderly roomate is finally quiet, so maybe I'll try to sleep; sleep has been very hard to come by for such a long, long time. I love all of you, and I thank you for your love and prayers in return. I BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF PRAYER, and I am so, so blessed for all the prayers that have gone out on my behalf. I would list the number of new blessings I've counted throughout this experience so far, but this is already too long (and I said each blog would get shorter!). To list all my new blessings would make this even longer, so I'll save them for a future post.

Love and God's richest blessings to all of you,
Deb (the luckiest wife in the world)