It's been awhile! And for many reasons.

First of all, as I mentioned, our internet was on again/off again for a few days, so that prevented me from new postings.

Then .... chemo, and BLAH. It caught up to me, and I had a hard time getting out of bed for more than a couple of days.

My first treatment was last Tuesday, and it went well. I had the luxury of having both my husband Larry AND my sister Brenda with me for that first round. I was so apprehensive, it was nice to have their support. A couple of years ago, my sister was taking part in a fund-raiser for breast cancer research, and was making gorgeous pink pearl bracelets with a breast cancer ribbon/charm attached to each. They were so lovely, I bought one for the cause. Little did I know that I would one day be a part of that cause a couple of years down the line ............. Anyway, I loved that bracelet so much that I wore it all the time. Somehow, I broke it, and thankfully didn't lose it. That bracelet means so much to me, not only because my sister made it, but now because of its added significance. Bren repaired the bracelet for me, and gave it back to me on the day of my first chemo treatment. It is so sentimental and special to me. Thank you, Bren.

The treatment went okay, and I actually didn't feel too bad afterward. It consisted of several different IV bags, which they kept changing. Then, the "big guns" came out: two very large, and I do mean LARGE syringes filled with red liquid. I gulped. These syringes were similar to ones I'd seen used on Animal Planet to tranquilize hippo's. Honest. I asked if they were going to inject those syringes straight into me; thankfully, no, they were going to inject the red liquid into my IV. Whew!

Anyway, I made it through Tuesday just fine, with no appreciable nausea. Wednesday I went back for "the shot." I don't remember the name of it, but it is given to keep my white blood cell count up and prevent infection. Now that shot HURTS. It is known for making your long bones hurt the next day, like your calf, thigh, arm, back and sternum bones. And it did what it's known for. By Thursday, not only was I totally nauseated from the chemo, but every bone in my body ached. I did take the prescribed anti-nausea drugs, which helped (well, I didn't throw up, anyway), but I was still pretty nauseated both Thursday and Friday. Today is Saturday, and though not quite as nauseated, I am still pretty wiped out and don't feel like doing much.

My hair is still attached to my scalp, but will all be gone soon (I know, I keep saying that, don't I ...). I can't control much about this illness, but what I CAN control is when my hair will be gone. I intend to have it shaved before I begin to find huge clumps of it everywhere, yet ... I can't seem to make the appointment to do so. Hey, how 'bout this: I read online someplace that some insurance companies will pay for the wig, as long as it's not called a "wig," but rather, a "cranial prosthesis." How do you like THAT one? A cranial prosthesis. My oncologist was kind enough to write the prescription, but alas, no dice with the insurance company. They're totally onto that cranial prosthesis thing, and gave us a quick thumbs down. Nice try though.

The large bruise covering the whole surgical area seems to FINALLY be resolving. THANK GOODNESS. I was beginning to worry about that, but you know me and how I obsess. I am due to go back into the plastic surgeon on Monday for another fill of the tissue expander, and he will have a look then to make sure everything's okay. He wants all my fills to be complete by the time my chemo is complete. Ugh. I believe they plan on doing about 8 fills total, give or take a couple. Not looking forward to those fills; they are very uncomfortable; painful, actually. I wonder if I will EVER feel normal again. I am beginning to have my doubts and get discouraged.

I work daily on my wall-walking exercises though, and am getting a little better use of my right arm now. I have a long way to go -- it's still pretty siezed up. But at least I can lift it over my head, if my elbow is bent a bit. As I said, the exercises are difficult and painful. But necessary, as is anything worthwhile.

The clot in my lung is still there -- I feel a bit of a flutter when I breathe. But my blood levels are where they should be, thanks to the Coumadin (blood thinners), so I think, and hope, that the clot is dissolving.

And guess what. I have lost 20 pounds now since this ordeal began. Trust me though, this was NOT the way to do it.

I will sign off for now. Time once again for the Gaither Gospel Hour on RFD TV Network, and I can't miss that! Nothing uplifts me and encourages me more than Southern Gospel Music.

Take good care, everyone. Remember too, that every single day is a blessing. And every single HEALTHY day is even MORE of a blessing. Don't take anything for granted.

Blessings to all, and thank you for your love and support. I won't ever stop needing it, nor will I ever stop appreciating it.

Deb

PS: I note that the time indicated that I post my blogs is ALWAYS WRONG. I have no idea why, but for what it's worth, this particular post was completed at 7 p.m. Saturday. Go figger.