"I Hate Hair"

Hi y'all,

It's been awhile. Chemo has been kicking my butt. And worse, the post-chemo Nulasta shot has been harder on me than the chemo itself. At first the Nulasta just made my bones ache for a bit, but the ache was very manageable. However, a whole week AFTER the Nulasta shot, I was down and out. My lower back began to throb HARD with each heartbeat. I couldn't get comfortable. And I lay awake literally all night long with tears streaming down my cheeks, watching each tick of the clock (I took my pulse a lot.) No meds I took could relieve the severe pain, no position could comfort it. It lasted exactly 24 hours and was gone, THANK GOD.

Well, time for another Nulasta shot again tomorrow. I guess I have a week before I have to go through that throbbing back pain again. Ugh. I'd better try to prepare somehow.

Anyway folks, sorry I have been under the radar -- and the weather -- for so long. I didn't know what to expect with that first chemo. And it DID make me feel really crummy. Treatments are on Tuesdays. So the first Tuesday, I felt good until Thursday, then went downhill fast. I didn't begin to lose my nausea until the following Tuesday, but then Tuesday night was when the backache set in. By the time 9 days went by after that first treatment, I was starting to feel pretty okay again. So, from day 9 to day 14, when the second treatment took place, I'd had about 5 good days under my belt to face chemo round 2, today.

And guess what. My hair started falling out in handsful today. Just gobs and gobs of it. Fortunately I kept my appointment to have it shaved tomorrow (Wednesday), and come out of there with a wig. Tonight, I am wearing a turban to bed so I don't leave these large tufts of my hair all over the pillowcases. Sniff.

Here's a poem I wrote about HAIR:

I HATE HAIR

I hate hair in the sink, hair on the floor.
Hair in my brush, hair behind the door.
I even hate my hair
in the style I wore.

I hate hair in my food,
when I lift up the bread,
did it come from the kitchen,
off that tattooed cook's head?

I hate loose hair on my clothes
and hair in my eyes,
and a hair in my MOUTH (ewww!)
makes the hair on my arms rise!

Hair in the shower drain,
a disgusting human quirk,
and when there's hair on the soap,
well, I just go berserk.

Hair in the tub,
what could be grosser,
egad, look out, there's one
floating closer!

My eyebrows need shaping
so I tweeze and I pluck,
every darn day
after 40 years, man does THAT suck!

The hairs that grow
atop my big toes,
(sigh)
I s'ppose I should do
something about those ...

On my upper lip
I wax, wax, wax,
talk about pain!
It hurts to the max!

And that one lone hair
sprouting from a used-to-be mole,
if I don't yank it out
it gets as long as a dang phone pole!

New haircuts cause me to mousse and to putz,
and needed frequent haircuts just make me nuts.
Putting Clairol on my hair makes the color deeper,
but the real color is gray, which is even creepier.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now my hair is all gone,
every flippin' strand ..................
I wish my hair were on my head
instead of in my hand.

Hair, hair, hair, it's a pain in the neck,
but now for me, cancer has stacked the deck.
Chemo has taken my every hair .............
AND NOW, HOW I WISH MY HAIR WERE THERE!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(As I used to tell my children, "'Hate' is an awfully strong word!" Moral: Always listen to your mother, even when that mother is YOU.)

"Thank you ladies and gentleman, thank you very much."
CANCER HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!

Big day tomorrow. I have to go get that dreaded shot, then we are going to pick up a new-to-Larry pickup he bought today. After that, alas, it's out to Katie's Spa for the head-shaving routine and wig fitting. I am trying to have a good attitude about it, trying to accept it, but I have a feeling there'll be some tears. I am having Larry bring the camera. As hard as it is to document this journey, I am trying. (He took pictures of me taking my chemo today.)

Today's food craving: White Castle Hamburgers. (My dad used to say you had to eat them just to kill the smell.) They tasted great, but repeated on me later. Bad idea.

I will try to keep up with new blogs as my nausea and fatigue permit. I know many of you have been asking how I am, and I DO SO appreciate that! Many others have sent emails saying the same, and of course, cards continue to pour in, all of such communications I consider prayers. With all this support, how could I EVER NOT be okay at the end of this journey? THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!

I continue to get emails from people who wish to leave a comment for me here on the blog, but don't know how. You must first click on my home page. Then, look at the list of my blogs, listed by date in a column down the left side of the page. Choose ONE to click on, and that particular blog will come up. At that time, after you have chosen a particular blog on which to comment, you can scroll to the bottom of that blog, where you will find a field that says, "Post a Comment." It is very easy. And I'd love to hear from you. You have no idea what your support does to keep me going, up, and positive. I love you all, and hope I can have one big "Celebration of Life" party for every one of you when I'm assured I have clearance to do so.

Thank you to everyone. I feel pretty good right now, but if you don't hear from me for a few days, just know that I am in a supine position someplace in this house (not yet ready for those prone positions because of some lingering chest pain, though I miss those prones -- I am a tummy sleeper!).

God's richest blessings to all my buddies on here and everywhere else. You are the BEST!

Love, Deb