Got through the first four-hour chemo!

Hello to all of you, and thank you for reading my blogs.

Yesterday was my first four-hour chemo treatment. I didn't know what to expect, but it's behind me now, and I have only three more chemo's to go! (Then it's on to radiation treatments.)

I was pretty happy to know that these last four chemo's were not going to make me so sick. However, I could tell as my nurse was hooking me up to the IV that she had something on her mind. She began by telling me that this type of chemo could cause a "reaction." When I asked her what type of reaction, she said she didn't want to put it in my head by telling me what I might experience, but that they had to let me know a reaction could occur. So she just kept telling me that if I "felt funny," to let her know right away, that she would then stop the drip, treat the symptoms, the symptoms would subside, and the chemo could continue. I began to panic a bit: "What symptoms would you treat?" She still didn't want to tell me. Her best answer was that they were very experienced in handling these reactions when they occurred, and that they were equipped there to handle any emergency. Now I was REALLY in a panic; I am a high-anxiety patient as it is (I have probably mentioned that before!). So, tears began. The nurse said my treatment would begin with two drugs to prevent this reaction, one of which was Benedryl, and that the Benedryl would make me groggy and sleepy, which it did. So as soon as the drip started, I drifted off into a light, twilight sleep. FORTUNATELY, I did NOT have this dreaded "reaction" after the first 15 minutes, and the nurse told Larry that if I hadn't had a reaction by then, that I wouldn't have one at all. WHEW! Long story short, I slept through pretty much all of the four-hour treatment, and through most of the rest of yesterday. Apparently, had I had this "reaction," it would have been a respiratory thing -- hard to breathe, a full feeling in my ears, etc. I wish she'd just told me that from the beginning; it may have eased my stress.

They keep insisting that these last four treatments won't make me nauseous. My nausea usually starts two days after my Tuesday treatment, so while I feel pretty good today in the nausea department, I am reserving judgment for a couple of days, to see if I get sick. I hope they're right about the nausea being over with for me. With this phase of the chemo, my bones will ache (even more), but I would rather have that than the awful and long-lasting nausea.

I still feel so blessed. When I get discouraged, I have to remind myself of how far I've come. Remember when I couldn't wait to get those awful drains removed? Remember when I was incapacitated and hospitalized for a week with that threatening blood clot in my lung? Or when I had not yet even started chemo? Gosh, now my drains are LONG GONE, my blood clot is resolving, and I am more than half way through my chemo treatments. My reconstruction continues with regular fills to my tissue expander (ouch!). And while I have a LONG way to go yet, I have come a long way, too.

Thank you to EVERYONE who has cared about me and my progress. For reading my blogs, and asking about me. I am still not up to answering indivdual emails. I am SO EXHAUSTED all the time -- just wiped out. But I promise to do so just as soon as I am able. For now, it seems all I can do to make it to almost-daily doctor appointments of one type or another, and to blog every few days. And I kid you not, THIS IS HARD. But again, I praise and thank all of you who support me in every single way. As I said, from those who ask about me regularly, to those who keep up with my blogs, to those who email me and are patient with me in knowing that I can't answer all of you right now, to those of you who send cards and prayers, I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. Truly I do. I will never be able to properly thank all of you. Please know that YOU ARE KEEPING ME GOING!

Prayers please, for my sister Brenda, who will be having rotator-cuff surgery tomorrow. She has walked every step of the way with me on my difficult journey, and I wish I were well enough to be there at the hospital with her tomorrow. So I will ask you for your prayers for her -- she deserves only the best!

And hey, in spite of what our government says, you gals get those mammograms EVERY YEAR, and BEFORE AGE 50. Do those self exams (remember, that's how I found my breast cancer). Don't even get me started on this being the beginning of rationed health care. ARRRGGHHHH!!!! WHAT A DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until next time, I will sign off for now. I hope your tomrrow's are happy ones, and I pray that mine will be nausea-free so I can blog more often!

Love to all,
Deb
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