Initial Consult with Radiation Oncologist was Today

Here I am again, everyone (thank God!)

Today brings the beginning of yet another phase in the road to my recovery. Larry and I visited the radiation oncologist for the first time today. It was both comforting and scary to me. I had been told by several that once I got through chemo, radiation would be a breeze. Yet, I left the radiation oncolgist's office today feeling a bit of anxiety. While I really liked him, he didn't sugar coat anything. He said that while I had been correctly told that my chances for a cancer recurrance were only about 15 percent, he clarified that the low chance of recurrance meant recurrance to THE AREA THAT'S BEING TREATED. He added though, that radiation can, in some cases, CAUSE MORE cancers to occur elsewhere. And further, because I have already had a high-stage, advanced, aggressive cancer, my chances of getting another cancer elsewhere were increased. Also, there is a chance that if the cancer recurs in the same area, it would likely be along my scar line. Ugh. However, my prognosis for what I am being treated for remains good. So at least that is something for which to be so thankful. I am kicking myself, because I knew for such a long time that I was ill, and chose to wait such a long time to confront what I knew was a serious problem. BAD IDEA.

I have been prescribed 33 radiation treatments, which will take place five days a week for a little over a six-week period. Next week, I will go in and a cast of my chest will be made, and I will be marked for a reference as to where to aim the beam. I'm told radiation treatments will make me tired and that I might develop sunburn-like symptoms, but that the side effects are not nearly as brutal as those of chemo.

The neuropathy in my extremities continues to plague me, and doesn't yet seem to be improving. But I am told to be patient, that it could be awhile before improvement occurs, if at all. Swelling is still an issue and I miss wearing my lovely and sentimental wedding rings. But I am still here!

News on my tissue expander. I saw my plastic surgeon early this week (whom I LOVE -- he is such a wonderful, skilled and compassionate doctor). He examined my surgical area and tissue expander and determined that I am DONE getting fills! Woo hoo! He said my skin was plenty unhappy with us already, and that he felt he had stretched it enough to be adequate for reconstruction. Of course, he cautioned that we won't know until radiation treatments are complete the effects it will leave behind. Naturally ("unnaturally"?), we are hoping an implant will still be an option, but if not, the plastic surgeon assured me that there are still plenty of other successful reconstructive options he can exercise. And in his comforting, A+ bedside manner (one of the many things that makes him a top-notch doctor), he told me I had been through so much already and that I had traveled a really rough road. Whew! Did that ever confirm my feelings! I'd begun to think the tears I shed throughout the torturous chemo cycles were because I was just a big baby. I mentioned this to the plastic surgeon, telling him that there were times throughout the chemo treatments that I literally thought I would surely die, and another enlightening piece of information came to light. He told me that during chemo, they fill you with so much of that toxic drug that it brings you right to the brink of death, that that's when they back off the dosage a bit. I laughed -- he didn't. I asked if he was serious, and he said he was. Well no wonder I felt like I'd literally been poisoned nearly to death! Now, I don't know if others who go through chemo react as violently as I did (I have heard that many sail right through it, and some are even able to continue working throughout), but I just know that for me, at the advanced stage I was, it was pretty difficult.

Well, this has certainly been enough about me. Please allow me to ask for prayers for my BELOVED PRINCE OF A HUSBAND, Larry. As many of you know, Larry has had a pacemaker since 2003. He had a stress test a couple of weeks ago, and we have been told there was an "abnormality" in his results. We are going to see the cardiologist this Friday to find out what exactly we are up against with this. We are hoping that it is nothing more than time to replace the pacemaker. I am glad I am starting to feel a little stronger in case we are facing yet another health challenge. I will keep my blog updated on this situation too, and I will thank you all in advance for your prayers. Believe me, we appreciate them so very much!

So, with the holidays having drawn to a close and life beginning to return to normal, at least from a day-to-day standpoint, let us once again wish all of you a happy and healthy 2010. I will forever be reminded of, and so grateful for, the importance of family and friends. And thank you to all of you who've left such tender and encouraging comments here on my blog. You have no idea how deeply they touch my heart, and how profusely I thank God for each of you.

Love, Deb 33333333333