August 26, 2009

Hi to everyone who's following my progress and recovery,

Well, maybe I'm a baby, but it's still very tough for me here. I am still in a good deal of pain and discomfort, I still move very slowly, and am still in bed an awful lot. My surgery was three weeks ago tomorrow now. I would have thought I'd have felt a bit better by now, and I do ... but I am far from on top of my game.

I had two doctor appointments on Monday of this week, one with my plastic surgeon (he is the one who is also managing my two drains), and one with the oncologist.

The plastic surgeon was able to remove one of my drains, THANK THE LORD, and he hopes to be able to remove the second one by the end of this week. They are terribly uncomfortable; I will be so glad to have them GONE. He also put the second "fill" into the tissue expander which was implanted during surgery. This second fill was difficult. Though I am still in pain, I also experience a very large area of numbness in my chest, right side, and right arm. The nurse doing the fill asked me to let her know when I began to feel the fullness. But since I am numb, I couldn't feel it. Long story short, I just chose an arbitrary moment to tell her to stop, and I wish I'd opened my mouth sooner. I have been miserable ever since, due to the large amount of saline injected into the already-ucomfortable tissue expander. I am still very injured in that area, and to add that much fluid only made my discomfort more intense. I'll know next time ... I have a whole year ahead of me to "expand my tissue;" no need to make me look like Dolly Parton on my first visit! Yikes!

Meeting for the first time with the oncologist on Monday was yet another very scary day of anticipation for me, but we got through it. I now know so much more about what is ahead for me. I learned that I did NOT catch my cancer as soon as it could have been caught, and had I waited much longer, I would not have had the chance at life I have now. PRAISE GOD! Remember ladies, I found my lump via a self exam, so please, never EVER underestimate the importance of self exams! I was not due for another mammogram until October; had I waited until then, it would have been too late to save my life. My cancer was very aggressive and fast growing. This in itself shook me up so much, I have not been able to talk about it until today.

The oncologist said that since I caught it when I did, that my prognosis is "good." Because of the mastectomy, all the cancer is gone, except for the one tiny spot I spoke of in my last blog. The oncologist feels confident that with both chemo and radiation, that spot will be irradicated as well. I had three tumors, but the pathologist said that two of them were so close together, they counted them as one. Therefore, one tumor measured 6 cm; the other 5.5 cm. Both pretty large, which put me at a stage 3 cancer (there are only 4 stages).

My chemo will be aggressive. I will have 6 chemo treatments over the course of 4.5 months, one treatment every 3 weeks; each chemo treatment will last 3.5 hours. After chemo treatments end, I will still go back to the chemo clinic for 7.5 months of intraveneous treatment with a drug called "Herceptin," which is an antibody I will need, since my cancer was "HER-2." My understanding is that the Herceptin is an anti-estrogen drug to fight my being "estrogen-receptor positive," to bring down my estrogen levels and prevent a recurrance. The Herceptin treatments however, will only be 1.5 hours each, once every 3 weeks, and won't prevent my hair from regrowing, after losing it all during chemo.

Because my treatment will require many "pokes" in the veins, I am going to have a port implanted in my chest (another surgery, though minor compared to what I have been through) so that my veins won't be compromised with all the IV treatements I'll need. Surgery for the port will be Sept 3. Wish me luck ... again.

And, after all my treatments are through, I will be on a drug called "Arimidex" for 5 years; more insurance that I won't have a recurrance.

So, we are preparing for a very long year ahead. Today, I had a "MUGA" test on my heart, to make sure it is strong enough for the chemo drugs. On Friday, I will have a CAT scan, as well as a consult to discuss the particulars of the port that will be implanted next week.

There is a LOT to this. And my husband, Larry, remains by my side, patient and resolute. We are learning a lot about the "sickness and health" part of the marriage vows, and he is doing an exemplary job of upholding those vows and taking care of me. I don't know how I would manage without him.

And Larry is patient, too. This has been a very emotional situation for me. I cry at the drop of a hat, I am still so frightened, and still need tranquilizers to keep my nerves under control. Not only is this a physical challenge, it's an emotional one as well. Thank you for the prayers.

Of course, I am always so thankful and grateful for all the encouragement, emails, cards, gifts, thoughts, prayers, and comments here on my blog. I read each one over and over, and I meant it when I said they keep me going. My appreciation runs very deeply, and I hope someday, I will be able to thank each of you properly and personally. This is such a difficult journey for me though, and is very hard for me to talk about. Saying everything once on this blog makes it easier on me. I am glad I am able to keep everyone in the loop this way. And I am glad there are so many who care. What a blessing!

So once again, until next time, please know that I feel and appreciate your prayers and good wishes. The concern of all of you has been an overwhelmingly pleasant surprise that has sustained me and will continue to do so. Thank you to all of you!

Hugs and humble thanks,
Deb